#Ghosted
Hey friends,
I've been staring at this blank page for weeks now, trying to find the right words to explain where I've been and why I completely ghosted this space that means so much to me. The truth is, there aren't perfect words for the chaos that life sometimes brings, but I'm learning that showing up imperfectly is better than hiding completely.
Yes, I ghosted you. I ghosted social media. I ghosted my calling. I ghosted myself.
The Unraveling
If I'm being completely honest, the past few months have been some of the hardest I've walked through. What started as a knee injury requiring surgery quickly spiraled into something much deeper - a mental and emotional unraveling that I wasn't prepared for.
You see, I've always been the "strong one." The encourager. The one who has it all together, shares Bible verses, and motivates others to live boldly. But what happens when the motivator loses her motivation? What happens when the one preaching about bold faith suddenly feels anything but brave?
That's where I found myself - in a season so heavy that even opening social media felt impossible.
The Perfect Storm
It wasn't just the knee injury, though that was the catalyst. It was everything compounding at once:
Physical limitations that made me question my identity as a fitness coach
Mental exhaustion from trying to appear strong when I felt broken
Spiritual wrestling with questions I'd never voiced before
Comparison trap that social media can become when you're struggling
Fear of authenticity because who wants to follow someone who's falling apart?
The girl who preached about not hiding in comfortable silence found herself doing exactly that - hiding. The irony wasn't lost on me, but the shame felt too heavy to lift.
The Lie I Believed
Somewhere in the chaos, I started believing a lie: that my struggles disqualified me from ministry. That my questions made me a fraud. That my broken pieces couldn't possibly encourage anyone else.
I convinced myself that showing up authentically about my mental health struggles would disappoint people who looked to me for encouragement. So instead of being vulnerable, I vanished.
But isolation only magnified everything. The quiet that was supposed to protect me actually amplified every fear, every doubt, every lie the enemy whispered in the dark.
The Slow Return to Light
Recovery - whether physical, mental, or spiritual - isn't linear. There wasn't one magical moment where everything clicked back into place. Instead, it's been a slow, sometimes frustrating journey back to myself.
Some days, progress looked like getting out of bed. Other days, it was doing my physical therapy exercises. Sometimes, it was simply reminding myself that this season wouldn't last forever.
Through it all, God never left. Even when I couldn't feel Him, even when prayers felt hollow, even when faith felt fragile - He was working. Not always in ways I could see or understand, but in ways my heart desperately needed.
What I'm Learning
This season of absence has taught me things that years of "successful" social media presence never could:
Your worth isn't measured by your productivity. Just because I wasn't posting didn't mean I wasn't valuable or that my story was over.
Mental health struggles don't disqualify you from ministry. Sometimes our greatest testimonies come from our deepest valleys.
Authenticity attracts the right community. The people meant to be in your life will love you through the mess, not just the victories.
Seasons of hiddenness serve a purpose. God often does His deepest work when we're out of the spotlight.
It's okay to not be okay. Admitting struggle isn't weakness - it's honesty.
Moving Forward
I'm not "all better" - whatever that even means. I'm still navigating recovery, still wrestling with questions, still learning what it looks like to steward my mental health while serving others.
But I'm showing up anyway. Because I've learned that perfection was never the requirement for ministry. Authenticity is.
If you've been wondering where I went, now you know. If you've been struggling in your own silence, know that you're not alone. And if you've been waiting for permission to show up imperfectly - consider this your invitation.
The Boldly Brooke Life community was never about having it all figured out. It was about choosing faith over fear, authenticity over approval, and community over isolation.
I'm still choosing those things, just with a lot more grace for the process.
What's Next
Moving forward, you can expect:
More real talk about mental health and faith
Honest updates about recovery and growth
Content that reflects the full spectrum of human experience
A community that holds space for both struggles and victories
Thank you for your patience during my absence. Thank you for the messages, prayers, and grace. And thank you for being the kind of community that makes vulnerability feel safe.
We're stronger together, especially in the broken places.
With love and gratitude,
Brooke
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18